Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And then he peed in my hair
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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