she looked like the before picture.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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