worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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