nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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