I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
