i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
