It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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