did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
