Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
