...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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