she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The air was thick with penises
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
