I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
