Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
