I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
