I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
