He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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