Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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