Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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