I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
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There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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