Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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