I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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