so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
