That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
