so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
