I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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