I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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