Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
