Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
