Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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