i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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