She's JV to your varsity
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
