You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
