You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
