Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
too bad you live with your parents still
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
third nipple confirmed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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