so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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