$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
