I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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