I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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