K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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