Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
barbara walters just said penis...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
