I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
