you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
