It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
