All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
