By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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