I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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