i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
