Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
vagina is talking i cant
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
