using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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