i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize