i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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