he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
