; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
