Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my shit smells like andre
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
