Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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